Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
