tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
