I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
