I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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