we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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