i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
