Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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