there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
