also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
