I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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