So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
