Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
