rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My balls are so social today.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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