Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(443): View more from Maryland

Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.

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(407): View more from Florida

this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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(207): View more from Maine

I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.

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(469): View more from Texas

on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.

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(812): View more from Indiana

well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone

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(985): View more from Louisiana

you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house

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