just come out here and I will go home with you...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
