porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
