We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
