When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
