$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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