So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
