I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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