Where are you?
In a non slutty way
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
