it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
