high people should be assigned attendants
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
