i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
