Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
