I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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