What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
