All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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