2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
PANTIES FOUND
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