I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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