ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So here I am, sexting at work.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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