i just google imaged poop.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
