These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
