I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
me + whiskey = a bad person
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