At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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