I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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