After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
