Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
