Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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