My nipple is on Facebook.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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