yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
