I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
