There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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