so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
