My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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