LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
