I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
