And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
