Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize