you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
