Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
