I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Drunk is a universal language darling
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