rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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