I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
