All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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