Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
