sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
