Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
