Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
