if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This couple is walking their pig around campus
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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