I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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