grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
