white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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