What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
